16. Wellbeing - Cultivating Balance in a Chaotic World

Have you ever felt out of step with the world around you, grappling to maintain a sense of peace amid chaos? Swami Tadananda joins me, Sunil, as we embark on a journey to explore the art of sustaining rhythm in our chaotic lives. In the dance of existence, we often overlook the subtle yet profound balance required between our physical health, mental clarity, and emotional stability. Together, we dissect the delicate equilibrium that is crucial for our well-being and how disruptions can send ripples through our sense of harmony, affecting everything from self-worth to our relationships.

As our conversation with Swami Tadananda unfolds, we delve into the significance of respecting individual mental frequencies, which play a pivotal role in personal growth and the absorption of knowledge. We exchange thoughts on the Vedantic belief that wisdom is not acquired but unveiled, emphasizing the educator's role in fostering environments conducive to a child's unique disposition. This respect for individual rhythms challenges conventional educational models, advocating for a system that nurtures innate potential and sparks a lifelong love for learning—a beacon for parents and teachers alike.

In our final segment, we turn our attention to the tapestry of human connections that enrich our lives. Emotion, especially love, acts as the thread that weaves together the relationships with our families, friends, and even our beloved pets. We ponder the repercussions of when these bonds falter and how we seek new harmonies to fill the voids. The episode rounds off with reflections on the decisions we make throughout our life's journey, underlining the importance of understanding the fundamental laws that define our existence. Join us as we seek to unpack these complexities and set the foundation for deeper exploration in the episodes to come.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:19

Namaste to you listeners. My name is Sunil. I am Swami Tadhananda from the Ramakrishna Vedanta Centre of Auckland, new Zealand. How are you Samajee?

Speaker 2: 0:27

I am very good, sunil. Thank you. How are you?

Speaker 1: 0:29

I am good, very good, thank you. In the last episode we talked about rhythm, talked about the principles of the universe and the flow of energy and how we all lived in this universe. Samajee came here today. Please talk about the application of these principles to our lives.

Speaker 2: 0:49

Yeah, I think that's a next logical step to explore, or have a deep understanding of this rhythm principle that keeps everything in rhythm in us. Rhythm is necessary for peace, peace of mind, peace in the family, in the community, all around us. So let us start from our own self, the internal rhythm that we all need to, and normally we define that as feeling good, I am happy with myself, I am at ease with myself, I am comfortable with myself, I am at harmony in myself. There is no inner conflicts. Also, so, starting from a physical level, the physical body, human body, the organism is made of so many systems digestive system, nervous system, musculoskeletal system, so many systems. Each one works in its own little loop, so to say, and they all integrate together to form an organism. If any of those systems gets out of rhythms, so to say, it affects the overall performance or the well-being of the organism. For example, if you eat something and have some difficulty with digestion, you have a problem with indigestion, so to say, and then the result is that you are not feeling well within yourself. You might have vomiting, you might have diarrhea, which are different ways of the body trying to throw, expel what has been taken in, and when that one system goes out of the way, well, the whole day has gone out of balance. You know you cannot go to work, you are feeling tired, you need to recover and all that. So you see how one small thing can throw the whole organism out of balance at the physical level, or it could be some injury or something and it's taking some time to recover and you're not able to perform your normal activities. Okay, but more at the mental level, certain emotions and feelings can also throw the mind out of rhythm, so to say.

Speaker 2: 3:04

We thrive in a very harmonious environment. Okay, we are comfortable with others and others are comfortable with us. There's an exchange of sharing and caring and giving and all those things that are happening. And when that is happening in a beautiful way, then we say it's a happy family, happy environment and all those type of things. But when that is somehow disturbed, the rhythm is disturbed, then tensions begin to arise, you know, and tension is a sign that you make an effort to go back and reestablish that rhythm. So people will do so many things to reestablish that rhythm. Okay, please, other people be nice, kind and this and that, because you know something otherwise, can jar the relationship and that becomes a very, not so happy workplace or family situation. But before we go to the outside people, we all have within us a set of values, ideologies that we believe in and we try to make our actions be in harmony with those ideas. So you choose a job or set of actions, we make decisions that resonate with our conscience and we are happy with what we are doing with our own value systems, what you say.

Speaker 2: 4:38

Now situation can come where one is forced to step out of it. You know, at work somebody has asked you to do something which doesn't really gel with your own internal values. But you need the work, job and things and you do it. But you feel bad about yourself. I should not have done that. I don't feel good about myself. After doing that. You can't sleep well. You can't sleep well. You know if you're a very sensitive person for some people you know it doesn't really the thick skinned you might say. They might do something, it is there for a while, but they shrug it off and carry on. But there are other people who have a bit of a delicate skin. So to say that what is?

Speaker 2: 5:24

them that okay, and they don't want to put themselves in a situation where they would have to repeat that. And should they have to repeat them, that would make the situation worse about their own self respect, say, own self, value of who they are, and so it creates some this internal conflicts, so to say. Those internal conflicts are more difficult to live with for very sensitive people. Then living with the outside world, yes, okay.

Speaker 2: 5:53

Just live with them Because yeah, because you know in your mind it is there all the time reminding you I have should not have done this or I have done something that has causing harm to somebody. Yes, and and you know, that type of feeling is there. So their self value of who they are, their goodness about themselves, their well-being, goes down a little bit, so to say. And then, if they repeatedly do that, it keeps on getting lower down to a situation where they feel absolutely very bad about themselves.

Speaker 1: 6:26

And because of that, a lot of other things could could come into their lives, right? And then, yes, because they're not at ease, as you say, yeah, they're at ease. Yes, just could start coming in.

Speaker 2: 6:35

Yes. So if you can imagine, you know everyone. A child is coming into this world perfectly happy.

Speaker 1: 6:42

Okay.

Speaker 2: 6:43

No tension, no stress, no worries. We put them into a situation of education in this setting up expectations, passing examinations and, you know, rewarding them for successes and all those things that happen. Some will do very well and their life remains in that rhythm, that ease. Others are struggling to match the the, the expectations that the society or the family that has put in there. He makes the best effort. Maybe he's not constituted like that. It's not. Everyone is not the same. Different level of intelligence and smart and capacity is there. But when we push that person so much where they begin to fail that I don't have that capacity to match my own expectations or expectations of others, that begins to create a little bit of intention inside. That's very, very harmful. It's not easily detected at that very early age but if it's left undetected in time it becomes a complicated thing because it has become really conditioned the mind of the child. It could be something like repeatedly you're failing examinations or people are saying you know not good, sometimes they could be pretty rude and you are dumb, you stupid type of comments You'll constantly hear from people around who are not very sensitive about them. All those things are like adding up into the mind of the child that the society is constantly telling me this is what I am and it's building that identity. It could be something very subtle. You know father understands my son is not getting very good marks and he says I'm going to organize a tutor. But what the father is trying to tell you are not smart, you're not good enough to learn on your own Like other students are able to do in the classroom. He's not saying that verbally, but the reinforcement in the mind of the child is that, look, you need some additional help. Some people do need help. Okay, so it's not that father is deliberately trying to do something like that. But when a lot of people constantly tell you you're not good, you're not good we, that reinforces the identity or the perception of themselves and they begin to feel they're not good. One example is like autistic children Okay, they will.

Speaker 2: 9:08

Not everyone has got the same talent in all fields. So if somebody doesn't excel in a particular field doesn't mean he's a failure or something. Those same people are extremely good in so many other things. Fasted period to these so-called normal people. It is to understand that everyone doesn't have to excel and be wonderful in everything we have. Different talents or different minds are constituted, our intelligence are getting channelized in a certain pathways that are conditioned by previous lifetimes. Also, we need to have a deep understanding of the individual, far beyond the physical being, as a mental being, as what we are inside. We are not talking about the spiritual part of it, at the mind level, how the mind is conditioned and in different situations that mind is now interacting with the world.

Speaker 1: 10:04

Because of these constant negative comments that this person is receiving in terms of rhythm, what happens there for them?

Speaker 2: 10:16

Well, rhythm is a sense of if you let the child sort of be on its own, express yourself, we are not going to be judgmental. He will himself find something somewhere and do that and be very happy with himself.

Speaker 1: 10:34

If it's not academic, then it will be sports. Yes, we give the choice it's fantastic.

Speaker 2: 10:41

You just have many options and people will automatically drift around to something that resonates with them and they engage with it and it becomes an easy flow. So inside, as you visualize, there is a spring that is loaded and compressed. It's seeking to express itself, but all of will not express equally. Some might be a good singer, artist, a scientific person or a mathematics, so something might appeal. But we have to find a way that is natural to that person.

Speaker 2: 11:18

Basically, you say what is the disposition of the mind of that person, or how is the mind constituted? In Sanskrit you say what is the Swabhava, what is the natural bent of the mind? To be able to identify that and support the child to grow in that way would be far, much better than putting one jacket for everyone and say everyone has to be very good at science and maths, and chemistry, and physics, and biology, and sports and singing, and music and swimming and tennis, whatever. No, that is not how we are all constituted. So I think here parents need to have that deep understanding of the mind of the child that is present in front of them, and same for the teachers, because this is where all the natural training and support and education is happening.

Speaker 1: 12:12

Early days. Early days, the two sets of people influence the most right the teachers and the parents.

Speaker 2: 12:20

Yeah, so keeping so, basically, what would be the sort of goal of parenting, in teaching, understanding that each one is constituted differently, to have that wisdom, to see that difference, the strengths in each one of them, and focus on that rather than focus on the weaknesses there, and support that individual, because when he begins to succeed in what they're good at, they build their self-respect, confidence, you know, esteem. But if you push them in the wrong direction, where they constantly meddle with the failures then they develop some negative idea about themselves.

Speaker 2: 13:05

I'm not good at this. My friends are, you know, like my friends, or whatever. So I think so that would?

Speaker 1: 13:14

This is to keep them in that natural state of rhythm as well, right? Because otherwise, if it doesn't constitute with their qualities, then we are forcefully trying to get them out of rhythm, which isn't good for them.

Speaker 2: 13:28

Yeah. So let us then picture an individual not as a physical being, as a mind, a mind that has got a certain amount of energy. Mind is energy, but different minds have different frequencies. Okay, some are high, some are low. So basically, an ideal teacher and ideal parent would be one who has the deep insight to see and identify the natural frequency of that individual mental frequency, and then engage that particular person in activities that are conducive to the mental makeup, the nature, the Swabhava, the constitution of that person, and that person will do very well there.

Speaker 2: 14:17

But when we put him in a different group and that person is not ready for that right now, it's very simple like this Let us say in a school class system a student goes in class grade one, grade two, grade three. You put him in the right class, he is happy, he is learning the subject matter, he is confident, he is able to grasp, pass examination. If you do not place a student in the right place and say he should be in grade four but you put him in grade six, Now what does it happen? He goes and does the mechanics of it, attending the class, but he is not learning. You know he is not fitting in there.

Speaker 1: 14:56

He is not understanding because he is not ready for it, but he is at two years old. Yeah and all that.

Speaker 2: 15:03

Oh, the other way, if you put somebody who is in grade six and put him in grade four, he gets totally bored. I know that. You know why I am sitting here. He becomes set-on-minded and is not focusing, is not engaging, he is not resonating with the teacher, he is not resonating with the students in the class, he is not part of that group. He feels out of the place. You see, that's a good example in a classroom. So a class basically means a class of people. Class means something similar, yeah, at the similar level of study understanding. So basically, if you use this example of an education system where different students are put in different classes, where they fit in the class, so to say, and they are happy there and the growth is natural, step by step they will move to higher levels.

Speaker 2: 15:56

Likewise, a child has come into your family and you are saying, okay, he is a young body but could be an old soul, could be very much older than me, also in its experience and wisdom. And right now, just because those contents of the mind, the samskaras, are not manifesting, it doesn't mean he is an ignorant little child in that I should treat him as an ignorant person, that I should control and teach him, type of thing. The idea of teaching is not a very good idea. The concept of teaching where we, as elders, who are the repository of knowledge, we will put information and knowledge into your head, is probably one of the biggest problems in our education system.

Speaker 2: 16:47

The Vedanta way is saying is that the soul of the person is omniscient. All knowing Knowledge is inside us. The task of the teacher is to remove whatever obstructions that are there so that the inner light will shine through. It's a totally different perspective of it. So if a parent approaches a child or teacher approaches a child in that way, then he says yes, potentially Divine being has all the knowledge within himself.

Speaker 2: 17:18

It could be a very old soul, also, far older than me. So I have to treat that person with respect also, and my job is to help that person manifest that inner knowledge and wisdom that is the purpose of his life. How do I facilitate that? And education? Would that not mean I have to teach him so many things? It would mean he will learn. But learning means manifestation of the knowledge already within us.

Speaker 2: 17:49

One way of looking at is the wrong ways to look. The mind of the child is like a bucket and I'm pouring water into it. It's an empty something. I'm putting information and knowledge into it. The right way to look at is it's a spring coming from the depths of the earth. Maybe a rock or stone is blocking it. I will remove that and let the Vosha gush out in a fountain. That would be a more enlightened way of understanding what's happening in a teaching learning process.

Speaker 2: 18:19

But each one has got their own natural rhythm and to be able to identify what will work for one person and how another one is different in another system is, I think, the task of the teacher. In the old ancient system, students would go and live in a gurukul under this direct supervision of the teacher, and the teacher would observe them from morning to evening through various you know, not just passing some writing, some examination, and to understand what they are through their behavior, through their conduct, through how they follow instructions, and what they can do well and what they cannot. And so the the instructions is then customized to each one of them and each one in the same gurukula system. There will be some young kids and there will be senior ones there, but the teacher is teaching all of them. But instructions would be personalized, individualized, and the teacher is a great one who understands the mind of the child. It's grooming and helping the child manifest and grow.

Speaker 2: 19:26

All that, coming back to rhythm, is there. It's we talked about the working of the rhythm individually within us. So each person, if we develop this, develop this understanding of who we are, we are not a physical being. Let us look at ourselves as minds. The minds are conditioned by our upbringing, our culture, our experiences good, bad, traumatic, whatever is there. They are all coloring the mind. We are seeing the world through the lens of that mind and if the lens is red, then that red color is superimposed on everything that.

Speaker 1: 20:07

I see.

Speaker 2: 20:08

Okay, if it's blue, then I superimpose that bluenose on everything that I see To acknowledge this coloring that is created by the conditioning of the mind. Sometimes people don't perceive people in that way and we think we see things objectively. You know, now we are contributing a part of it to everything that we perceive and we should be able to take that part. Only then we take out that part, then only we'll say we have that objective perception type of thing. It's a very interesting insight to it. But coming back to this rhythm individually in a family, you asked, you know, so we want the family is the basic unit of the society. We want at least peace and harmony there within the family. Okay, we have got people of different age, we've got the grandparents, we've got the parents, mother and father, then you've got the children, siblings, of different age groups. So our family constitutes a bundle of so many energy pools, each one pulsating, resonating, slightly different. But because they are in the similar environment, in a similar culture, similar upbringing, you know, for example, you're going to the same church, you're living in the same community and all those things, everything is sort of tending to affect the conditioning of the mind. Likewise you're able to hold that family together, but each one is like a different flower, different colors. A family would be a garland, yes, and for a garland to be made out of flowers you need a common thread to run through that, yes. So the secret of a united, established family is to have something that runs through all of them by common thread. That's binding.

Speaker 2: 22:10

So you might say a family business Okay, all the parents have handed over the business or trained the children in that way. It's a family business. Everyone is working together, harmoniously, share the benefits and income. That is there. But it's a well-knit family type of thing, okay. Or it could be there is a transmission of knowledge, like a father is a doctor and you know grandfather was a doctor, so children are a doctor, and the family business runs in that way, in terms of not material things, but in terms of knowledge type of thing. It could be also, sometimes some other things might hold the family together, for example, a common ideology. People belong to a particular faith, go to a common, same church, you know, and that runs in a deep way and, if you know, that's what holds the family together.

Speaker 1: 23:04

It could be sports right? Father play cricket, the son would play cricket, yeah and all that.

Speaker 2: 23:09

But if the son has got that temperament, yeah, okay. And if he doesn't have it, no matter how much you try to make him a cricket tie, he's not going to happen and the father has to respect that. If he does not respect that, that this is not the fit, and tries to make him forcefully fit, that will throw that particular person out of rhythm.

Speaker 2: 23:31

You see, because you're not recognizing the individuality of that person, you're not respecting the individuality of that person and trying to fit him. Like you know, there's a square peg in around hole. It's not fitting there. So I think a deeper understanding of how we are constituted we are a bundle of energy is the mind at that level. But each mind is constituted and if we say what is the signature of the mind, the identifying point, that is the natural frequency the particular wavelength we have, and you'll find that if you allow them the flexibility to float around, then similar minds will gravitate together.

Speaker 2: 24:18

Okay, and so it might happen that people are growing in a family but they are differently constituted, but then they need to stay together until they are. They need the food, clothing, shelter and all that, and up to the teenage and all that. But the moment they get that opportunity to leave, you find that they drift apart, yes, and drift of, sometimes very far away from the family they grew up in. And so we have that drifted apart too, so to say, and you find who are the people they are associating. Now the mind has sort of drifted apart and gravitated towards other minds which are similarly constituted, and they are feeling this is my friend circle. We are happy with this group. It could be from different professional point of view, it could be ideological, it could be nowadays anything and everything things groups form. But basically a group is a system of people, a group of people that are similarly constituted. And in that, what is? Why are they hanging together? Because they are resonating with each other better there, then they were with the family.

Speaker 2: 25:30

Imagine there's a big party, a big gathering, you and I in there, a thousand people are there all over, moving around the whole, talking whatever is there, and this is the first time you have gone there. So you go to one group and hear the conversation. They're talking about sport or cricket. You say I don't like that. So you leave that and you go to another place. Someone is talking about politics. But somewhere down the line you'll find some group that you'll say it is interesting. What is that is?

Speaker 2: 25:56

You are beginning to hit that rhythm with them and before you know, you feel very good to share their ideas and they welcome you in there and you are just happy. The whole evening you spend chatting with them. So visualize this person drifting in. If you had a type of a device that you looked everyone not as physical bodies but as minds. There's so many minds are there and they're all pulsating and communicating. But you'll find something common Each group has got a certain rhythm in there and I think if we begin to look at the whole world families, organizations, political parties, teams, groups, nations, all that it's a wonderful way to perceive individuals in a deeper way, to see them as minds.

Speaker 1: 26:46

So some questions, Swamiji. So a mind obviously could be connected within the family, but also, over time, as the young person grows, they would make friends that they would resonate with in the as they're growing up through university, high school and so on. So because they've got another set of another group of minds that are resonating, does that mean they are now separate from the family unit? Because originally they were part of the family unit and let's say there's some common thread in there. They still catch up whenever they can. Obviously they're growing, the kids are growing and so on. They would be hanging out more with their friends now than the family, but there's still something common. Can they be part of these multiple groups?

Speaker 2: 27:44

Obviously they can, right, yeah of course, and you'll find it happening all together.

Speaker 1: 27:50

So it's not as if they have to leave a unit to join another one. They can be part of multiple groups. Yeah, they can move around.

Speaker 2: 27:58

So, like at home, you're part of a family, but when you go to work you're mixing with other type of people and comfortable with that. It's got sports, friends or political things. So mine is not just fixated at that, but it can adjust. But the common thing is that it has to have some resonance that will bring it back, which is what you call in a very simple way. You know, we love each other. Love the word love means it's an emotional resonance between two things. It could be people, it could be between your pet dog and yourself, you know, but you feel a resonance and happy in each other's company.

Speaker 2: 28:40

So if the person who has a child was grown up and gone out into the world and got married and engaging with other people, other families, in-laws and all those things, but if there is something common that is still binding with the parents, that person will maintain contact, you know, give a regular phone call, inquire how are you all that? Visit, you take care of you and all those things. But sometimes you find that cord that binds breaks and they become totally detached and it's sometimes very painful for parents, you know, when you think you know, I brought them so well and all that. And now you know he doesn't bother even to call. There's no gratitude or something like that, it's just they have drifted away so far away. Okay, all right.

Speaker 1: 29:31

It just seems that there's a lot more to talk about in this. So we've talked about the individuals of, in their ways, talked about the family.

Speaker 2: 29:38

Family a little bit about. You know how teachers can look at in these children as a mind, and a mind has got a characteristic frequency. But then you know we are not just living in the small circles of family and classroom that happens in our education days and so forth, but later on we have to go out in the big, wider world and we interact with organizations, workplaces, we meet all types of people, people in our community and all that. And it's a constant struggle to find that balance, a peaceful space where we can coexist in harmony with others. And sometimes that doesn't happen and people will then need to make a change. You know, either suffer in that space where you're not in at peace with yourself and around, or at some point people will just take a call and say enough of this, I'm going to go, and then you'll see sometimes very reactionary type of turbulent decisions and movements happening. If life can go without major jarring, you know, I think it's more peaceful. But sometimes certain things are not in our control.

Speaker 1: 30:49

So being in rhythm with yourself is super important and also being in rhythm with family and other units. Where there isn't rhythm, you see that people are not comfortable and they're looking for other areas and other groups to join, to be in rhythm with them.

Speaker 2: 31:07

Yeah, I think in this discussion, in this episode, we have started a conversation for listeners to reflect in their own lives and situations and environments. And then let's take this up, because it's a very interesting and deep topic and very practical to have that deep insight about ourselves so that when we make choices in our life then there's a deep understanding. And I think knowledge is very powerful and we can make better choices, decisions in life, if we know the laws that operate behind what we are, who we are, Excellent.

Speaker 1: 31:53

Thank you, Samajee. We'll leave it there and then we'll carry on this topic in the next episode. Thank you, Sunil.